I've got to blog more

I find that days and weeks turn in to months without my consent.  Perspective changes with age for sure.  I am also beginning to see the importance of minutes.  Seriously?  How many of those were spent playing Mario and Donkey Kong when I was younger?  Now I am thinking.. Two minutes in the microwave, twenty mins. until this workout is over and how many hours until John gets home???? I love being able to stay home now.  I enjoy my time cleaning and cooking and reading and studying God's word.  I am so blessed at this stage in my life.  It is also very challenging.  I am not very good at discipline or structure.  I thought at first that staying home and having no structure would be awesome compared to working for someone who could care less about me and then coming home and doing things that needed to be done and on and on.  Then I soon realized that with NO structure I quickly fell into the stronghold that has been with me since .. well probably birth!  I will not do something until the last minute and spend all day doing something very ridiculous, like SLEEP.  For the first couple of weeks I would get up around 10 or so and still get everything done and felt good about it.  Then I got sick and slept all day and night.  I was sick for two weeks and then better for a week and sick again for another week.  What a great excuse I had.  My schedule got completely out of whack.  I am explaining all of this because I am guilty and truly want to change.  So after watching my husband get up every morning at 4 and go to work ( many times while sick ) I realized that ( ding ding ding ) I had a job to do also.  It wasn't just about rushing to get everything done right before he got home.  It was not to make sure there were no dishes in the sink as he walked through the door and it also was not to put on makeup and dress so he would think I looked great!  My job was to make our home.  Homemaker.  Our home needs to be clean and comfortable.  John should not have to come home to dirty clothes, dishes or floors.  He should also not have to sit around while I hurry through homework because I didn't do it earlier.  Or hear me complain about not spending enough time together or whatever I felt would get a stir out of him.  What I am saying is that I was trying to "appear" to do everything right.  I was still cleaning, doing homework and washing stuff... but I felt tired and sad and then I wanted to drain all his energy too by getting into intense conversations when he was tired from WORKING all day and I was upset because he wanted to sleep.. catch my drift?  So anyway.. after my confession of way too much personal info- I am human.  Sometimes I suck.  Sometimes I don't though.  Sometimes I catch myself and realize that I can do better.  One thing is for sure, God expects more and deserves more.  So does John.  Col 3:23 says to work at everything as if for God and not earthly masters.  I was seriously wasting a lot of minutes and precious hours that I could have been spending with God.  This week, however, I have reclaimed my victory and when I hear that alarm, I pretend that God is waiting on me.  I want to have that time with Him so that He will prepare me for what is to come.  I know that He has amazing plans for me.  I feel it in my soul.  I have a holy yearning and desire that is unquenchable.  The only thing that can hold me back is me.  I am taking up a new technique that I learned from Beth Moore, praying the words of God over my situations and for others' as well.  I may be a bit dense but sometimes I don't think of things a certain way and then BAM! a light just turns on and it is revelatory.  So instead of being victim to the words of myself or the world, I plan to become victorious over any obstacles by declaring the truth of God's word and believing it.  I hope to share this journey and hopefully inspire some.  I have totally said that before and like I said.. sometimes I suck - but this might be a time when God's light will shine and blur out all my human suckiness. 

 Colos. 3:22-25 The msg ^22-25Servants, do what you're told by your earthly masters. And don't just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you'll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you're serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn't cover up bad work.