Will we do all things?

We know that Christ says we can do all things with Him.  We've heard that nothing is impossible.  Why is it then that we do not do them?  The things we wish we could, the obstacles that continuously get in our way.  How is it that we are to be winners in the race if we don't even get out and run?  These are the questions I've asked myself but have never answered.  Until today.  I am taking God for His word, I am going to trust that He is right.  I am not going on a self-realizing trip, I'm not taking a challenge or doing a dare.. I am simply doing the things I keep not doing.  I am starting with 3 things that continue to beat me.  One is waking up early.  Since I can remember I have struggled with getting out of bed.  This causes a number of problems such as: Not getting to work on time, not having time to do morning prayer or bible study, not feeling good the rest of the day because I was rushing all morning. I need to beat this vice and I can't.  But I can rely on God to help me.  Numero dos. Cussing or unwholesome or foul words.  How many times in Proverbs does Solomon refer to the tongue and a fool .. I don't want to be a fool.  I want to sound like a Godly lady, like someone who has Christ living in her.  In my small group we watched a video about how the four letter word for GOD is YVHW.  It's like a breath.. It's like our own breath is the echo of our creator.  Now I don't know about you but what comes out of my mouth at times is SOO not about God.  It should be though, and with His help.. it will be.  Three.. well that one I am a little worried about.  How many times have I said.. "Ugghhh I am so disgusted with how I feel in my own skin?".. or "Why do I even have a closet full of clothes that don't fit?"  Exercise.  We all need it.  We all should experience sweat, intensity, rapid heartbeat, the benefits of healthy movement!  But doesn't a love story and chocolate ice cream seem better?  Doesn't reading or cooking or spending time with others seem to take up more of our time?  Exercise is important.. VERY. It releases endorphines, creates awareness of our strengths and weaknesses, trains our bodies and minds, allows us to stay healthy and gives us something to do instead of being lazy or overscheduled.  I have never stuck to an exercise plan but I believe God will help me.  I am not just approaching this whole idea about wellness or etiquette or discipline because I want to say " look I did it.."  I want God to have full Glory about what He does.  I think and believe He will provide, He will enable me.  I am human and I do fail... but He is our amazing, star breathing, life giving, Fathering, provider and friend.  If he can't help me then who can?  I may lose sight and not succeed every attempt but I truly believe God will help me gain a routine of better habits.  I will share my success with you so that you may gain strength and encouragement and so that I may glorify Christ.  He is worthy and He loves me.  I want to be better for Him and for those in my life.  Here I go.  Day one.  Started with waking at 5.  Having coffee with my husband and reading from the bible together.  He did his pushups while I read a bit more.  I waited til he left ( cuz i look a little silly doing this )and I did a workout video.. Whew.  Heart rate is up.. sweating a little.. knees are cramping.  I didn't think I could make it but I pushed.  Then shower.. actually had time to shave.. ( lucky John) and put on make up !! whoop whoop !  Then I prayed a bit about this plan I had to glorify God and off to work.  Got here and already anxiety hits.  Lies and insecurities creep in my ear.. Then an email from my mentor and friend !! Feeling better as the day goes on.  Sometimes I get overwhelemed about what I am going to do when I get off ( like I have a lot, no kids, no demanding husband or many extra-curriculars.. )  but none the less I get stressed.. Then I think about how I wish I was somewhere else.. All the annoying thoughts come at me.. But then it's time for ladies group.  What did I get out of that??? Confirmation.  People need people to relate too.. I am doing this because I want to win, I want God to get glory AND I want others to know they can too!!  There is so much heartache and suffering and secrets and sadness but God is a God who heals and loves and can do what we can't.  I know these things I am attempting may seem small, but they have beaten me all my life.  If God and I can beat them.. it will boost my confidence and send me to beat other things. I hope that if you are reading this, where ever you may be in your walk, reach out to God.. He is waiting. 

2 Corinthians 3:2-6

You yourselves are our letter of recommendation, written on our hearts, to be known and read by all. 3And you show that you are a letter from Christ delivered by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.
4 Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. 5 Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, 6 who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.


Love H

Can we get out of our own way?

You know.. I think.. A lot.  I mean I am not one of those people who have a task in front of them and focus solely upon it.  I am more about oh hey.. that got my attention.. I'll think about it.. and so needless to say.. in my prayer life I am quite often distracted.  I will start talking to God and begin with some thanksgiving and maybe some heavy concerns and soon enough I ( I like to imagine it's WE ) begin laughing.  Crying is sometimes an attribute, but usually during prayer I will need a good hour just to make sure I have covered all the bases.  I was thinking today about how sometimes my prayers actually get answered visibly and yet I forgot that I had even prayed about it.  What's more insane is that once God does deliver some blessing in my life I am just so excited ( or A.D.D. ) that I just start worrying or planning or doing the next thing that catches my attention and soon I forget about the answered prayer.  At some point I may even wish that it would change.  Let me use work for example.  God opened a door after me losing a job that was definitly not suited to me in any way. He blessed me with a temporary position which turned into a permanent job and here I am still.  It is helping young and older adults through college.  I started out LOVING it.  Thinking.. Oh God you sure knew what you were doing!!  So then of course as I grow more spiritually ( well .. let's just say I start wanting to do more for God ) I am like.. alright God .. do your work again.. get me away from all these people who are so concerned with obtaining worldly success and building their own kingdoms.. God put me closer to people that know you and love you and where I can be of use.  :)  Well.. when no doors are being opened ( or closed for that matter ) I start praying again.. Hey God.. so you wanna do something cuz I know you could totally use me.. I'm ready! I'm excited and filled with passion for you Jesus!! ...  Nothing.  So lately at work I find myself..well..thinking (rather than working ) and I began to remember that I was also praying things like.. search my heart Lord and change me to immulate Christ.  Requests were being made simultaneously to help me grow and bring people into my life that will love me and counsel me and God .. ( this is a good one ) please give me patience .. and steadfastness along with obedience and discipline.  LOL what was I thinking.. or was this a rare occassion when I wasn't ?  Well here come the people.  Amazing people.. Godly women and even my husband's wisdom starts to be shared.  I start hearing everywhere I go.. Well honey, God can use you anywhere.  God might be needing you to grow right where you are.  We don't have the same timeline that HE does.  And then my husbands words " Don't you think that it would be pleasing to God if you did your best in all that you do? Including work and being responsible.  I don't mean to be harsh but maybe it's His way of saying it's time to grow up. "  HAHAHA.. alright.  Well when John said that I really listened.. I didn't get mad ( for long anyway ) and I started praying that God would continue His work in me.  For one thing.. I am serious about becoming more like Christ and I am willing to be refined.  I start meeting with a spiritual mentor, having lunch and other functions with Godly women, reading more scripture and trying to find my prayer niche.  So as it occured to me last night at the "Girl's Night" .. Hey.. sometimes it takes a little while to get refined ( patience ) and maybe I just need to trust God ( steadfastness ) and continue in His word and seek Him through these people He is putting all around me ( discipline and obedience) and continue to pray for His will to be done in my life.  Ahhhh ( deep breath out ) so when He orchestrated this whole job thing for me He actually did that because that was part of the plan.. ding ding ding.. and He is trying to finish the work He started in me but maybe I am getting in the way!  I get so impatient that if something doesn't happen as soon as I need it too ( or before I remember why it started in the first place ) then I will just make another rash decision and the whole process takes entirely too much time.  I am going to try and stay out of my own way and really listen for God.  Or as Daphne's little girl says.. Stop! S is for Stop (  :) so cute ), T is for Think about what the bible says, O is for Obey and P is for Pray ( Without Ceasing). I want to hear Him.  I want to obey and honor Him.  I have already spent too much time away and now is the time to draw near.  I am so thankful for this job.  I have met many people and hope to love them just as Christ has loved me.  Thank you God.  Thanks for always knowing what the heck is going on.. cuz you know I am quite easily distracted!

Colossians 3:23-24  Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.

Distracted

Lately at work I find myself getting very easily distracted.  Well my whole life I have been one of those who finds ways to only concentrate on very interesting topics.  I know, I know. And truthfully I never thought is was a problem.  Especially now that when I am at work I am distrated because I want to share God, or write about Him or look up scripture.. How can that be wrong?  I will be very intimate here.. Lately I have started to feel an ever present urge to find out what is going on in peoples lives and pray for them.  I never would have thought about me being an intercessory pray-er ( :) )  but it seems I am, maybe.  It could be that God is trying to hone my prayer skills or .. teach me something else completely.  Last night when we got home from small group I decided that I needed some "attention" from John.  I didn't tell him, I didn't even make any signals.. I didn't even put on something in any way flattering at all.  I just wanted him to somehow read my mind and know that I wanted him to show me some love ;), ya dig?  Well after he started reading, I turned over and started tapping the wall.. JOHN- " What's wrong baby?" ME- " Nothing."  JOHN- " Are you sure? If you need to talk that's what I'm here for."  ME- " No, I'm fine."  Silence.  I rolled onto my back.  hmmpfh.  JOHN- " Heather, what is the matter?"  ME- " I said nothing".. So you get the point.. After I could see clearly that he was not a mind reader I got up out of bed and went outside and sat.  I said a prayer to God to help me.  I don't want to be like that.  I know that he cant read my mind and I shouldn't treat him like that.  God simply asked.. "WHY did you want him?".. ME- "HUH?"  GOD-" You are being selfish?"  ME-" By wanting to get some "attention" ?"  GOD- "Yes."  Then the revelation came.  I have so much on my mind, so many peoples burdens, so many prayer requests, so many pains and struggles and fears and needs.. I was trying to use John as an escape.  I wanted that time so that I can relieve stress.  Not sure that's what that time is for!  DING DING DING!  You are supposed to be very present when intimate with your spouse.  Not DISTRACTED, or trying to become distracted by doing so.. ahhh I was so confused.  But God gave me clarity.  I need to fall on my kness before HIM and give the weight of the world to HIM.. Let HIM have it.  Not take it with me to bed.  Not take it with me to work.  Not take it anywhere other than before our LORD.  I appologized to John and of course he had no idea that all that was going on because all he saw was me huffing and puffing and tapping the wall and probably thought I was just a little crazy ( well he pretty much knows that).  He told me to not worry and that we all are selfish from time to time and to try and recognize it.  And it is more than that.  God has been working in me to be more selfless to people all around.  Putting them before myself.  It's hard when we live in such a world that tell us to put ourselves first, yet our Father tells us to do just the opposite!  In a book I'm reading the authors says " Chrisitians who let their weaknesses and inadequacies hold them back are just as self-focused as are believers who use their strength to build self-glorifying kingdoms."  And at Beth Moore the whole concept of security in God is that we let go of ourselves.. Stop trying to live out of our own fears and start living with the truth that GOD gave us.. We can do all things with Christ!!!  I need to believe that.  God and I definitly need some time.  Today is national prayer day, I'm in luck!  *Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens” (Psalm 68:19). “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).  That is exactly where I will go.  And for any of you who read this and know I am in prayer for you.. please know that this is a good thing.  Because yes I did pray, but know that now I have been set free from my weaknesses in just words and simple thoughts, but Christ who lives in me is in prayer for you all and I am on my way to finding the strength He has given me.  LOVE to you all.

H

Searching

My walk with God has been more like a game of tag.  There are times when God has been "it" and He is like ok Heather.. I'm getting really tired of chasing you then He tags me and I'm all.. wooo hooo I'm coming for you God! Where are you?  God?  Hello?  Luckily in my efforts to tag Him, He has shown me that all along He was right there, dwelling within me.  I was basically playing a game by myself.  Probably looking a little silly to others.  I was even told by my close friends that I was "Running".  Well when someone speaks to me in riddle, of course I will try and solve it!  So I set out on a search.  Searching for something to believe in.  Of course I ended up right back where I started.  So here I am again.  I feel as if I am starting over, but with a different outlook.  A more focused, loving, balanced quest before me.  I am not running, I am not frightened.  I am relieved that God knows me, that He loves me and wants me to be in relationship with Him.  I am excited every day to get to know Him more.  What's ironic is that I pray for friends.  Girl friends because I feel as if I need women, their softness, their beauty and motherly love, their sympathy and grace.  Not only have I met a group of  ladies (that are great and love the LORD ) at our Wednesday small group, but on Tuesday a large group of all women that seem super amazing as well.  Then there is Jamie.  We were meant to be friends.  I know this, I haven't told her, but I bet she knows it too.  She has a heart as big as Texas and I know we will add to the value of each others lives.  You are probably going.. aww that's great Heather but where exactly is the irony?  Well.. God has given me so much more than I deserve, yet in doing so.. He has created a passion in me to accept and discover Him as my friend, ( I bet He devised this little plan while I was "searching" ) He comforts me instead of the tub of ice cream, He listens when I am scared, weary, frustrated, embarrased, insecure or completely lost.  His word paves the path my tired feet jump onto and run toward.  How I got to this point where my thoughts are clear and my heart is happy.. once again.. friendship.  God blessed me with a friend that I can never deny, that I will always revere as beautiful and sanctified, that finds me when I am lost, that gives me direction, that leads the way and that bluntly tells me to STOP and look.  Her words cut, they bruise, they damage as they illuminate and destroy the lies the enemy surrounds me with.  When she told me that she wants to dance with me in Heaven.. there was a picture of blameless, pure, joyful, harmonious and everlasting friendship that I know was sent from above.  Dainelle knows my heart and resides there too.  Jesus lives within her and within me.  He used her to bring me closer to Him.  Thank God!  Thank her for being obedient.  I never want to be far from Him, I never want to be without His peace which surpasses all understanding.  I only want to glorify Him.  No other is worthy!  So seek and you shall find.  Just make sure when you find, you embrace and never let go! 

with love H

upside down

When we are young it seems that the whole world is vastly unreachable and far too big to comprehend. I remember sitting at the top of our driveway and looking down to where the pond was. It's probably 100 yards but man back then it seemed like miles away. What about swinging? What a joy. Holding on tight and leaning as far back as possible and watching the world flip over and become bigger and smaller right in front of your face. You know..mayber that is why we experiment with mind altering substances, trying to relive the imagined world we used to know. It seems we grow up and forget all about the power of pretend. Now, if we are montarily fourtunate, we can visually stimulate ourselves with little effort of our own brains. The capabilities of some are filled to peak while others only bask in their creations. Trying hard now can be defined more by how long something takes as opposed to what labor was actually used to mold our inventions. As a younger mind and a smaller body we grasped the concept of creation, imagination and true joy than our current more advanced versions. Maybe a little more time spent in wonderland would be beneficial to the lives and time we freely turn our backs on.